Smack in the middle

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Now I understand the curse of being a middle child. You can’t help but have the feeling of being neglected even though you were told otherwise, and the feeling of loneliness even though you’re surrounded by your family members. Also you’ll feel that you’ve been left out even though you’re in a conversation or an activity. The feeling of being the extra one in the family, and the feeling of just a useless waste of space.

Two nights tears put me to sleep. I had many suicidal thoughts surrounded my mind. I have tried to ignore them but these feelings lingered. Also because I do not know who to go to, all these feelings are being bottled up inside. I have contemplated whether these suicidal thoughts were caused by these negativity. Probably.

Right now, I’m trying my best to accept these feelings and be neutral about it. I’ll live.

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